Life, if it was meant to be easy then words like effort,
dedication and motivation and DNF would be meaningless. There wouldn't be any
type of reflection needed when things did not go as planned. This weekend at
Rocky Raccoon life slapped me with a huge dosage of reality. What started off
as an easy all day pace quickly turned into a fight of will over my body not
being able to do what my mind was asking it to do.
As I finished the first 20 mile loop of the 5 loop course I started
to feel different. At first I thought it was my knee acting up again. I then
started to feel joints in my other leg act up. My mind started going in
different directions. DNF came up, and I quickly shot it down. There was no way
I was taking a DNF. I told my self that I would walk this course before I did. I've not ever finished a race, and I wasn't going to start today.
I decided to go to the rest room at the end of the first loop and
take some time to gather myself. After I visited the restroom I was very light
headed and knew, right then and there something was wrong. A friend of mine who
was crewing me handed me my hand held bottle, and asked me if I was okay. I
simply responded, “I don’t know.” I thought to myself I genuinely do not know.
I had made up my mind to go out onto the course for the second
loop, and assess after I completed the second loop. As I stepped back onto the
course I stated with a walk. I then went into a slow trot. As I trotted along I
realized that my body was cold. I had chills, and I was not warming up. Every
step I took got progressively harder to take. It felt like my joints were being
slammed together with each step. I knew it wasn't missed nutrition or
hydration. I knew my physical conditioning was there. It was then I knew I was
sick.
I stopped my slow trot, and started walking. About a half mile
away from the start/finish I found a bench. I sat on it and took several deep
breaths to help the reality of actually taking a DNF sit in. Several runners
asked me if I was okay or needed anything as they went by me. I told them, no
thanks, and wished them well on their race.
After sitting on the bench for a few minutes I gathered myself,
and started the long half mile walk back to the start/finish line. That walk
felt longer than the first 20 mile loop. I was light headed, and didn't feel
like I was walking straight. The completive person in me did not want to go
back, and throw in the towel. I had to mentally convince myself that there was
absolutely nothing good going to come out of me attempted a second loop as I
pressed onto the start/finish line.
Approaching the start/finish line my head was hung low. I felt
defeated. I’m thinking to myself, “I just DNF a race”. I was on an emotional
mess. I don’t think it was because I felt like a failure, but more because
being sick was happening to me on this day, and it was completely out of my
control. It was a hard pill to swallow. I was cold and shivering and just
wanted to lie down. There was nothing I could do about it but turn my chip in.
.JPG)
I spent the next 20 plus hours in a bed with a fever, aches and
pains. I ended up throwing up a couple times along the way. I was very week,
and had no energy. I sent out text messages, made a facebook post, and emails.
I had friends and family who I knew may be checking in on me, and I didn't want
to leave anyone hanging. I had intended on getting up later that day and going
back on course to cheer people in or help volunteer, but I was in no physical
condition to make that happen.
Laying sick in bed gave me the time I needed to make a mends with
my initial DNF thoughts. I realized there were several positives to take away
from this experience. Running the first loop allowed me to make a couple
friends. I also walked away with course knowledge. Being sick brought forth an
appreciation for good health when I have it. It was a solid reminder to be self
motivated to put forth the effort, and dedication needed, not only for my
training, but all of my life’s daily ventures.
In retrospect this little set back isn’t a set back at all. I look
forward to healing, training, and making another 100 mile attempt. I truly
enjoyed, and appreciated all the support I got from friends and family members
throughout the day. You guys helped out more than you know.
I’m very fortunate to have the opportunity to participate in
something love. I do not plan on wasting it as I train for future events, and
help others stay motivated to obtain their goals.
Thank you for reading my blog entry. As always feel free to email
me any questions or comments you may have.
..ej
ej@trilifeblog.com
